Greenvale Adventures

One of my favorite essays is titled “You May Want to Marry my Husband,” and it inspired these reflections as I prepare to leave my job as a Social Worker in a dialysis center in Richmond, Virginia.

You may want to work at a dialysis center, I know I have enjoyed these last five years serving dialysis patients and their families. Prior to working here, like many, I didn’t realize Chronic Kidney Disease affects approximately 1 in 7 U.S. adults. The final stage of kidney disease can only be treated with dialysis or a transplant leaving many people asking “What will I do if my body outlives my kidneys?”

In many ways we are lucky, the kidney is the only organ that has a form of life support that isn’t needed continuously. Most dialysis patients simply come in for dialysis treatments three times a week for about 3-4 hours each time. Imagine if patients with severe lung disease could exist for years only using a ventilator 12-16 hours a week? Dialysis patients typically live an additional 5-10 years after beginning dialysis. Those extra years give patients time to watch their children or grandchildren grow up, continue working, take up a hobby, or whatever else they enjoy. I will never forget a patient’s daughter who told me, “Mom would have never saw her grandchildren get married or meet her 4 great-grandchildren if she didn’t start dialysis. We are so grateful she made this sacrifice for us.”

Sacrifice it is- many patients describe dialysis as feeling like a part-time job which unfortunately is neither paid nor comes with time off! Between getting to treatments, the actual dialysis, and waiting for sites to stop bleeding, the whole endeavor usually takes 4-6 hours. Not to mention most feel tired and take a nap when they get home.

Of course, you can’t talk about the sacrifices of dialysis patients without mentioning the insane diet which includes limiting all fluid consumption to 32 oz daily, avoiding phosphorus which is in about every delicious thing you can imagine: cheese, nuts, chocolate, dark sodas, etc., and foods high in potassium such as French fries and bananas.

But, I said you may want to work at a dialysis center so surely there must be more to it and there is. There is something incredibly special about supporting a group of people who could have died, but got another chance at life through dialysis.

Many patients talk about their “dialysis family” which includes fellow patients, the loved ones or staff who drive them to treatments, and caring staff members. Especially during the first year of the COVID-19 pandemic, many patients saw their dialysis family far more often than their own family and friends. Patients do special things for each other like bring each other snacks, yell across the treatment floor about last night’s game, and ask about their families. During both my pregnancies, I essentially had 50 honorary grandparents who asked how I was feeling, commented as baby grew, and cheered me on when I got back to work. Especially after my oldest daughter was born, many patients would rush through my assessments so they could hear what mattered most to them—“How is the baby doing?!”

None of my grandparents are still living, and I really treasured the support my patients showed me. I will never forget the patient who said “Soon you will understand why the expression ‘slept like a baby’ makes absolutely no sense. Babies wake up every hour crying.”

Like any family, we celebrated the little things like making it to Friday and the big things like a patient getting transplanted. In November I often helped patients create a gratitude board and it always humbled me to see how many people were simply grateful to be alive and have family in their lives. I will also

never forget the man who lived in a nursing home who was so excited about his “Big TV” a family member gave him that year. He loved watching jeopardy and his “stories.”

Of course, the hardest part of working at a dialysis center is facing death, although even those situations reveal the beauty of a life well lived. Sometimes patients decide to stop dialysis and begin hospice services. That often is a hard choice after steady or fast decline often brought on by other health complications. I will never forget the conversations with patients facing this choice but wondering “Would I be killing myself? Can I still go to heaven?” Holding hands and sometimes with tears I would look in their eyes and say, “You would just be allowing a natural death to occur. My faith says that is okay.”

One patient decided to stop dialysis after a series of hospitalizations spanning several months including a foot amputation. His wife was prepared that her husband might die just a few days after stopping dialysis so she got the family together to celebrate his birthday a little early. I called him after the party and he loved it—his siblings, children and grandchildren all came and brought his favorite foods. In some miracle he lived several more weeks and got to see his actual birthday and enjoyed the little things like coffee, donuts, and visiting with family. When he passed away, it seemed like he and his family had found peace and that was a beautiful thing to witness.

To end things on a happier note, I will say that there is some sort of magic that happens when a person has nowhere to go for the next three hours and there is a willing listener. I have heard stories of childhoods spent in the county picking cherries, fishing, and sleeping on the porch to escape the summer heat. Stories of the blatant racism in our city’s past (e.g. closing the pool at Byrd Park in lieu of integrating). Stories from a former IT person who stayed at work overnight with the threat of Y2K only to realize nothing happened after midnight. In our busy lives, it’s easy to forget how special it is to sit down and listen to someone share a story.

So maybe you should work at a dialysis center or at least find the chance to sit down and listen to somone’s life story. You will be changed in the most beautiful way.

Lots of excitement the last couple of weeks as you continue to discover news things and grow! You worked very hard to teach yourself how to sit up. I was pretty surprised you seem to master that skill in a week. Something tells me you’re going to be a go-getter, you realized there are lots of things happening if you can only get off the floor. 

I planned to start introducing solid food when you were sitting up on your own and at least six months old, but you let us know you were ready by grabbing food from everyone’s plates. It’s been about a week and half since you tried solids and it’s mostly going well. So far you’ve tried banana, sweet potatoes, asparagus, cabbage, tomato soup, pancakes, waffles, avocado, raspberries, oatmeal and egg. Avocado and sweet potato have been the favorites so far. We mostly are doing baby-led weaning and some meals are pretty short since you get frustrated with these tiny bits of food in your mouth. I can only imagine how weird this all seems to you. We sit in your highchair and give you a variety of teethers which mostly taste good but fall apart in your mouth! You are not quite sure of what to make of this experience!

You are chewing like crazy and seem to have a couple teeth ready to break through, so I imagine next month you will have your first tooth.  I have a feeling you are going to cut the first 4-6 teeth in one big go– so I really should be bracing myself for some sleepless nights.

Lastly, you had so much fun your first time swimming in the pool and splashing your hands in the splashpad. ! It’s going to be a fun summer for sure!! 

We love you so much!

Your personality is really starting to shine these last couple of months! Unless you are really hungry or tired, you seem pretty happy just going along for the ride. You love to laugh at Nadia’s antics!

Even as a young baby it took a LOT of soothing to get Nadia to sleep. We would sing song after song, rock her, nurse to sleep, and unless she was absolutely, totally asleep we couldn’t transfer her to lay down in the crib. But, Trixie– that’s not you! You seem to like being bounced on the exercise ball, maybe listen to a song, and perhaps a quick round of nursing and then you’re out like a light! Some nights I’ll hold you while singing a few lullabies and you will make sounds of discomfort and I’ll think “Okay, she’s just not tired enough yet, I’ll keep singing,” only to realize you simply wanted to be set down in your crib so you can sleep.

The other night Daniel said, “Well how would you feel if you were ready to bed and someone kept playing music, bouncing you around, and pushing drinks in your face? You would probably be annoyed too!”

You’re getting close to being able to sit up on your own and it probably won’t be much longer until you’re crawling. I’m hoping to start signing a few things like “toilet” during diaper changes, “milk” before feedings, “more” and “all done.” I was recently reminded some babies sign as early as six months and I think it would be exciting to give you a voice!

You started daycare and met your first friend, Callie! Going to daycare was not big deal– you have a big smile when we see Ms. Brenda in the morning and seem happy when it’s time to go home too.

This month had several “firsts.” You got baptised at church with your Godmother Great-Aunt Maria and Uncle Brett; we had such a nice time celebrating you with family! We took you on your first cabin weekend at Smith Mountain Lake– that trip was the first time you ever grabbed one of my fries (which I stole back since we haven’t started solids yet). And our first tent camping trip at Bear Creek State Park– you did so awesome that whole trip.

We love you so much!

Four months old! You certainly don’t seem like a newborn anymore. Your new tricks include: babbling, chewing your hands, blowing spit bubbles, and rolling over (back to belly). I have heard you laugh a few times, but you that isn’t part of your main repetoire quite yet.

Dad has been taking care of you this month since I went back to work. I miss being at home during the day. Dad says often after three o’clock you just seem fussy and then I come home and it’s all smiles. I was so anxious a couple month ago about getting a daycare placement for you, and yet now I feel ready to quit my job and take care of you fulltime. It feels hard being away during the day and squeezing in all the cuddles, playtime, dinner, baths, stories, and everything else in the evenings. I hope in time I will feel more at peace working while raising two kids or perhaps will feel confident in the decision to stop working.

It is so fun watching Nadia play with you. Nadia loves to bring you toys and while she seems a bit afraid of you when you spit up, she will usually bring a tissue or wipe. Sometimes Nadia gets so close to your face and I want to say “Give Trixie some space,” but then I look over and you have a big smile on your face.

This month we celebrated Easter with Grammy, Grandpa, Aunt Jessica, Uncle Matt, and August. You were such a good sport and enjoyed opening a gift and being held by others or napping in the baby carrier.

We also took a baby music class at the library. I originally thought dad would take you solo, but I found myself making an excuse to leave work each week to meet up. You usually were overdue for a nap during the class, but at home you really smile when I sing some of the finger play songs. “Open, shut them” is my favorite.

People always ask how you sleep and I say “like a baby.” I don’t really mind feeding you in the middle of the night since it seems like it’s the only time we’re alone. Eventually I’ll want to stay up past 9pm but for now I’m fine going to bed early knowing I’ll be seeing you around midnight or two and then again around 4.

I wonder what things you will discover this month!

I almost forgot you turned 3 months old today but I remembered and snapped some pictures after work.  It’s too early to get behind on your baby book!

I went back to work last Monday and I’m glad to say today went much better for both of us. Currently, dad is on leave from work until you start daycare on April 15th.   You had us worried when you refused to drink from a bottle the first day I went back to work. I was so worried about you, but Dad kept trying to help you settle down. By the next day, you starting drinking from the bottle and now it seems like you and Dad have a good thing going during the week. I must say I’m antsy to leave work because I miss you so much!

This last month we have enjoyed seeing all the things you are learning to do! You are so much more alert and we love hearing your voice as you babble away! You are smiley baby, especially when you’re looking at Nadia.

You certainly can and sometimes do sleep in your bassinet, but you clearly prefer sleeping snuggled up with mom or dad and much of the time one of us welcomes the chance to rest with you!  The beauty of a second child is we got all the advice when we raised Nadia and now feel free to just do what works for us. I’m so glad I can just enjoy these naps without worrying that we’re “spoiling you” or you will never learn to sleep on your own.  

A couple of times you have managed to roll onto your side or fully from tummy to back. I have a feeling that you will be crawling before too much longer!  I’m looking forward to hearing you laugh since that’s probably coming next! 

Just know, you are already so loved and such a special part of our family!

Well, we can all breath a sigh of relief as we transition away from the newborn phase! We did it– we managed to figure out how to keep you fed and happy! Over the last month you started doing so many wonderful tricks: you smile, you coo, and you can hold your head up for quite a long time!

Now that you have longer wakeful periods, I enjoy “playing” with you. I like to do tummy time together, bicycle your legs, splash you in your baby tub, and take walks in the neighborhood (it’s extra cute when Nadia pushes her baby doll stroller). We hung a mobile above the changing pad and you often coo and smile as you look up at the animals while I change your diaper. You really love the Montessori mobile hanging downstairs and will happily look at for several minutes– that’s how I take many a bathroom break or grab a snack! Just like Nadia, you are very curious about mirrors and you often have a big smile for the baby you see in the mirror. The parenting books call this phase “the looker” and that is definitely true; you are so observant! It makes me so happy to watch you take in this new world and wonder about the many memories we will make together.

I just really love the newborn phase. I love how soft your skin feels and the sheer joy of those first smiles. I know the day will come when your troubles are bigger than hunger, boredom, or tiredness, but for now I take comfort in knowing these are problems I know how to fix. I love when you sleep snuggled on top of me and hearing those noisy baby sleep sounds. Breastfeeding may be time consuming, but it also carved out time for reading novels and binge watching The Crown.

After Nadia was born, a patient at work said, “You probably wonder why people say ‘sleep like a baby’ since let’s be real, babies are up every hour crying.” I have never forgotten that! Of course you woke up basically every hour in the very beginning but now you seem to have settled into a pattern of sleeping until about midnight and then waking up a few more times until we start our day sometime around 6am-7am. Honestly, I feel like this is pretty sustainable since at least one or two of the night wakes I end up falling asleep while nursing and you just sleep next to me in bed. Co-sleeping feels like the winning parenting heck (for anyone reading I do follow the safe sleep seven rules).

So many things feel easier this time around like breastfeeding, waking up at all hours of the night, and finding ways to fill the daytime together. There’s definitely comfort in being a seasoned mom. Heck, I even remember to give you your vitamin D drops at least 75% of the time! Last week you had your first clogged tear duct. It brough back memories of when that happened with Nadia and calling the pediatrician only to find out it is normal and nothing a little tear-free shampoo can’t fix. What a relief it is to know some of these basic things; everything doesn’t turn into doom-scrolling on Google anymore.

I feel sad my maternity leave is winding down. We just have three weeks left of this wonderful babymoon. Life is about to change in a big way and I just hope our hearts are ready (and that you will decide it is acceptable to drink from a bottle).

XOXO,

Mom

Are you really only one month old? It sort of feels as if you were part of our family forever; when I think back to the last week of my pregnancy, that feels like a very long time ago. Perhaps that’s because in the short time you have been alive we celebrated Christmas and New Year, visited with family, and mostly got cut loose from the frequent pediatrician visits.

Nadia absolutely adores you! When asked by her teacher this week “What makes you happy?” Nadia replied “Baby Trixie.” Nadia loves to help by bringing you diapers or clothes when you need to be changed. Nadia is very curious to watch you get bathed, but she doesn’t understand why you hate it so much! Nadia is looking forward to sharing one bedtime routine and she is very excited for you to sleep in the crib in your shared bedroom instead of the bassinet in our room.

Just this week is seems like you are able to stay awake a little bit longer, and you fight just a little bit harder when I can tell you are ready for a nap. You love to be comforted by being held while Mom or Dad bounces on an exercise ball. You love to look at the ceiling fans and out the window to see the sunlight. Once we get moving, you seem happy riding in the car, going for a walk, or being rocked. Your favorite place to sleep is in someone’s arms and you are just so adorable, it’s hard to mind too much.

Breastfeeding is going well (mostly). We can’t figure out how to get you to accept a bottle or pacifier, so for now we’ve never been separated for more than an hour. It’s funny, after all those months being pregnant, the lack of separation seems fitting. In fact, I remember looking at you in the hospital bassinet thinking “Gosh, you’re so far away,” even though we were maybe eight feet apart.

Similarily, while in the shower the other day I looked down at the “linea nigra” going to my belly button and thought “Where is the rest of me?” Yes, my skin is saggy and there’s stretch marks, but it’s weird to see my body start to get back to “normal.” I certainly don’t feel “normal” yet as we continue to search for our rhythm as a family of four.

I noticed a smile the other day, and you didn’t have gas! I’m excited for more smiles and cooing in this next month ahead! We can’t wait to see all the ways you will grow!

After having Nadia 10 days after her due date, I figured there would be some “over time” with this pregnancy too! Honestly I was glad to keep working past 40 weeks instead of obsessing about when I might go into labor. We also made a “fun list” to help pass the time! While waiting for our baby that last week, we: drove to see Christmas lights, saw the Christmas decorations at the Jefferson hotel, decorated sugar cookies, saw the model trains at the greenhouse, squeezed in another date, and more!  However, the day before you were born, we were starting to get antsy to meet you and even Nadia said as she rubbed my belly, “Baby, get out!”

On Friday, Saturday and Sunday night I had a round of false labor. We kept calling my parents- “Make sure your bag is ready, we will call when it’s time to come over!” And then a couple hours later, we called to cancel the alarm.

I was very frustrated by Monday morning (the day you were born), but it was my first day “off work” so that was nice.  There was a dusting of snow on the ground when we woke up and Nadia was so excited to see it! I drove her to preschool and picked up some things from the grocery store. I had a few contractions at the store, but I figured it was false labor (again). When I got home, I watched Love Actually and added some pregnancy pictures in the baby book. I planned to exercise and bake cookies, but just didn’t have the energy to do it, perhaps that was a sign!

Around 1, I called my mom and told her I was having some contractions. My parents decided to come over to go for a walk with me. Contractions picked up on the walk and I found it was hard to talk through them. My parents decided to get their bags and planned to pick up Nadia from preschool. Daniel came home and we took a lap around the neighborhood. He timed my contractions which started at lasting 1 minute duration, 5 minutes apart but speeded up to every 2-3 minutes by the end of the pretty brief walk. The app Daniel was using said “You should go to the hospital,” but I dismissed it. I remember calling the hospital while being in labor with Nadia and being told “You sound too good– don’t come yet.” When we got back to the house we decided to call the midwives  line at the hospital and she said “Come when your water breaks or when you know.”  

I tried to lay down after that, but I couldn’t tolerate the contractions unless I was standing and bracing the bed. I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror and realized “Geez, I look serious. It’s time to go.” Daniel put the bags in the car and I drank a protein drink. My parents got home with Nadia, we said a quick goodbye, and off we went to the hospital. If I had any hesitations about leaving then for the hospital, I quickly realized I was in no form to parent my rowdy three-year old!

When we got to the hospital the receptionist asked “What are you here for?”  I thought that was very strange and paused. She asked, “Are you here for the hospital tour or labor?”  When we said labor and my contractions are every other minute, she moved quickly to find an open triage room. 

My nurse got all the paperwork together and started setting up my IV antibiotics since I was group B strep positive. Then, the midwife Barbara did my initial exam and to everyone’s surprise I was 9cm dilated. That’s when things started moving fast, I was so calm everyone (including myself) assumed I was more like 5-6cm dilated. A parade of nurses came in to deliver all the supplies and start my antibiotics. We knew there wouldn’t be time for 2 doses but we figured we would try to get the first dose. 

Barbara gave me a stool for gentle lunging to help drop baby down (she started at -1 station) and nurse Austin was so supportive. Once I got my full dose of antibiotics it was shift change and I got to meet my second nurse, Chloe, and midwife Katie. My midwife offered to break my water bag and said “Once this is out of the way, you can push whenever the urge to bare down comes.”

I had no clue which birthing position to try, just that I didn’t want to repeat the position in which I delivered Nadia. At their suggestion I tried a hands and knees position, but I didn’t like facing the wall. I ended up turning around so I could see Daniel and the midwife. I started to push and man, it hurt. I kept thinking that I had to push for 3 hours to get Nadia out and I just thought to myself, “Well, I better get to work.”  I had so much more energy compared to birthing Nadia that it was easier to push. My body knew what to do this time!

When I was feeling tired, I asked about my progress and my midwife said “You’re crowning! You can feel baby’s head soon.” I was so motivated and determined!  With each urge, I just focused on breathing baby down and before I knew it, her head was out! With another push came her shoulders and she was passed to me! 

I was so excited to see that she was a girl! Daniel claims he announced we had a daughter but I just remember looking at her and smiling! We liked the names we picked out for a son or a daughter (since she was a gender surprise!) but we really love the name Trixie!  Daniel got to cut the cord and she was able to latch and start breastfeeding within the first hour!  What a wild ride!!  I delivered within 2 hours of arriving at the hospital and within about 5 hours of active labor.

My blood pressure was high after giving birth and I went from sweating profusely during labor to freezing after birth. I think it was a rush of adrenaline from all the excitement and within an hour I was back to normal.  Everyone was surprised by how much of a chunk Trixie is, especially since I’m so petite! 

Everyone at the hospital was so kind to us and really it couldn’t have gone better! My midwife did say, “Come earlier if there’s baby number 3!”  Yes, I guess so! Now that a few days have passed, I am certainly relieved this was my second birth because I think I would have been afraid had I not given birth before. There were lots of little things that made me feel comfortable once we got to the hospital–recognizing it was the same room where I delivered Nadia three years before and being surrounded by supportive people.

Our first night Trixie got up every hour or two, but usually it was easy enough to settle down. We both took a longer rest after 5am and we’re happy to eat breakfast when we woke up. Aunt Jessica got to meet Trixie at the hospital and so did my parents and Nadia.  Nadia was so excited to see her sister!

A little about the name, Beatrix Lilly Fourquet.  I first heard the name Trixie with one of the Call the Midwife characters and always thought it was a fun name. Then this year Nadia and I discovered the Knuffle Bunny book series where the main character is a girl named Trixie. It also seemed appropriate given that Trixie was a surprise pregnancy after we stopped fertility treatments last year. Trixie- you were the best surprise of 2023 and we are so glad you made us a family of four. I guess Dad is still king of the castle, but I’m all here for the girl power!  I can’t wait to see all the tricks you have in store for us!

It terms of resemblance, I think you look a lot like Nadia as a newborn. So much so, that I am going to have to be intentional what you wear in pictures so I can remember who is who! It might get confusing having a smaller baby girl born in late October and a bigger girl born mid-December!

The first week of your life has been a joy. I was nervous about our first few days as a family of four, but mostly it’s going better than I thought. Nadia is still going to preschool which has been a big help, Trixie is sleeping often during the day and gave me enough time to prep some things for the afternoon/ evening. I’m so lucky that despite her size, I had no tearing and my bleeding has been fairly minimal. Of course my core feels, well not normal, but otherwise I’m physically feeling well.  With both my babies, I honestly think the struggle to conceive was so hard and painful at times that God has blessed us with wonderful birth experiences and healthy babies.

I like the idea of celebrating birth as a birthday so I baked my favorite Christmas cookies (frosted sugar cookies and snowball cookies in honor of the snow that fell the day she was born). Nadia got to open a birthday present when we were at the hospital, which was a fun distraction.  

I can’t tell you how excited Nadia is to have a sister- she’s very excited to help! She enthusiastically tells me “Let me hold Trixie” or “I’ll get the diaper.” I’m so glad we read many books about bringing home a new baby– she really seems prepared to be a big sister!

Thank you to everyone who prayed for a safe delivery. We are so relieved to have Trixie here.

Well, my love, here we are– just one day shy of 40 weeks being pregnant with you! What a roller coaster this last trimester was! Most people describe me as “Type A,” but I have had no choice but to be humbled to go with the flow these last few months and trust that God would provide.

This summer we decided we wanted to hire someone to renovate our master bathroom before you were born. Our house was built in 1965 and both full baths were original to the house. We both hated our master bathroom– it was horribly claustrophobic gave off the vibes of an old high school locker room. By the time we got around to interviewing and selecting a contractor, the soonest we could get someone to take on the job was early October. We knew it would be tight, but figured it was worth it.

Living with a construction project at the end of the pregnant was rough! I ended up getting kicked out of the master bedroom once mold was found during demolition. Sleeping in the full-size guest bed with my big pregnancy pillow and your dad drove me nuts. Eventually he moved back into our bedroom so we could both sleep. Then there was the chaos of having bathroom stuff everywhere! The new vanity sat in front of the guest room closet forever and I was dying to get to the storage boxes with our baby things! That nesting urge is real!

When the project finally wrapped up at the end of October I was so happy to finally get a chance to decorate the new bathroom and unpack our baby things for you! But, of course then we were thrown another curveball. The bathroom was finished on a Thursday and Daniel went out of town that weekend for a wedding. He got home Sunday evening and I went to bed only to be awoken at midnight to “Kari, come help!” Water was pouring out of our master bathroom and into the bathroom. The hot water line exploded when Daniel took a shower– thank goodness he was home and awake to notice. Daniel swept into gear and turned off the water line for the house and then we got to business wet-vacuuming the bathroom and rescuing things to dry.

Unfortunately, the water began to leak through the floor upstairs into the basement so our contractor had to return the next week to repair the basement ceiling. Oh, I was so discouraged but also thankful the damage wasn’t worse and that our contractor was able to fix the ceiling and none of the new bathroom was destroyed!

While all that was happening at home, the day after construction began on the bathroom, I got hit by a school-aged driver while driving to work. The accident was nothing terrible– I got rear ended while I was stopped at a traffic light– and fortunately the baby and I were fine. However, the at-fault driver’s policy was horrendous to work with! While there wasn’t too much damage to my car, the “skid plate” got lose when I drove home from work that day, so I ended up having to share Daniel’s car until I got set up with a rental car. Then, it felt like everything that could go wrong did. I was assigned the slowest insurance agent on the planet. She dragged on so long, we assumed my car was totaled and ended up shopping for a new vehicle. Just when we were deciding between a Camry or a Hybrid Accord, we found out they would be paying for repairs once I found a body shop.

Of course none of the body shops could get me in right away and then the body shop I picked dragged on forever– they did one set of repairs only to realize more repairs were needed. I finally got called to pick up my car the day before Thanksgiving, only to see they didn’t fix the dent on the hood (caused by the accident) and the hood no longer lay flat. I had to assertively refuse to take the car back until more repairs were made. The accident was 10/3/23 and I didn’t pick up my car and turn in my rental until 12/1/23. The guy at Enterprise said I probably set a record!

But, it wasn’t all gloom and doom, we did manage to have some fun! We celebrated big sister Nadia turning three years old in October! We took our first overnight camping trip at Pocohontas State Park– that was a lot of fun and something we hope to try again this spring! We had plenty of fun trick-or-treating in the neighborhood for Halloween.

In November, we had a “Gender Guessing” party with family and friends where we put the Old Wives Tales to the test– ironically everything was split down the middle! Nadia is still hoping for baby sister, although she takes comfort in knowing some of her friends have brothers and they seem to be doing okay!

We had a very low-key Thanksgiving this year with “Grammy and Papa” and Aunt Jessica, Uncle Matt, and August. We felt very lucky to have family in town since it would have been very hard to travel or host visitors this year! Earlier that day we walked at Pony Pasture park and an older couple said “Oh my– you must be having the baby any day now!” To our relief you let us have a low-key weekend to decorate for Christmas and make sure that the hospital bag was packed!

This week I had a few rounds of Braxton Hicks contractions which made me pull out my copy of Ina May Gaskin’s Guide to Childbirth. While I feel a little nervous, I mostly feel ready to meet you! If the last few months have taught me anything, I have learned that I am much more flexible than I thought. I think my mantra for this round of childbirth will be:

“You’re braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. – Christopher Robin”

This is the first time we celebrated your birthday and you actually know what’s going on!  You have been talking about turning three for weeks and can show me three fingers on your little hand in preparation. We celebrated your actual birthday afterschool with a swim at the pool, eating pizza, opening gifts, face-timing with Grandma, and sprinkle cookies. Then, on Saturday we had a birthday party at the house with painting pumpkins and your favorite– DONUTS! You were a little nervous about having a party on Saturday, but ended up having a blast! It was nice to see you have fun playing with friends and family. Then, today we took you to the pumpkin patch for a hayride, visiting animals, and jumping on the inflatables. Phew, I’m tired from all those celebrations!

When I think about how much you grew this year, I am blown away!  You really don’t look like a baby anymore—your blonde hair has finally grown in and you have a bob of wavy curls.  We usually let you pick how many ponytails to wear, but some days you would rather wear your hair done with your signature 2-3 headbands. 

One of your favorite books is “All by Myself” by Mercer Mayer and truly I am amazed by the things you can do by yourself.  After we went grocery shopping last weekend I was unloading bags from the car, and without any instruction you pushed your step stool up to the pantry so you could put some things away.  I noticed you put the cottage cheese next to the canned goods, but honestly you found the “right home” for most things.  Soon enough, you will be correcting dad, explaining where things belong. 

There’s lots of things you like to do at home, but your favorite games involve playing with your dolls and stuffed animals.  You love to act out scenes of changing diapers, teaching babies to learn to walk, and putting friends to sleep at naptime.  I think you’re ready for the responsibility of being a big sister in less than two months!

You are creative and like to draw, paint, and glue things together.  Dad will often sit with you and help you draw your favorite characters from Sesame Street.  Usually you prefer to hold the marker with your left hand, so I think you will probably be a leftie!

We are blown away by all the things you know how to say.  This morning you said it was “wonderful” that I removed the stain from your yellow blanky.  I didn’t realize you knew that word.  You are also starting to learn a few words I wish you didn’t know.  The other day you heard me say “Jesus Christ!” after I hurt myself in the kitchen.  You quickly realized that must be a good thing to say when you feel frustrated and now you occasionally say “J C” too.  We keep telling you that I made a mistake and that it’s not a kind to say, but you’re not convinced yet!

Just when I worried you would never begin to poop in the potty, at the end of the summer, you decided it might not be so bad.  After months of saying “Maybe next time” or “You’ll be so proud of yourself when you go in the potty,” you often will run to us to say “I pooped in the potty.  You’re proud of me.”  And we are Nadia, we are so proud of you.

Probably one of the sweetest things about you is your constant ask for someone to “sleep with me.”  You just love to snuggle next to someone, and honestly if I’m in the right mood- I love it too.  You might not be the baby in our family much longer, but part of you will always be my baby.  I’m so grateful you gave me the gift of becoming a mom.  We love you so much.   I can’t wait to see all the fun adventures we will have this year!