My paternal grandmother passed away in May and while of course I was sad about the news, it had not fully hit me. Life as a working parent doesn’t leave a whole lot of time to dwell on things, since it’s mostly a GO, GO, GO, rinse, wash, and repeat lifestyle.
Yesterday my parents watched Nadia, so I could pack for the trip to Upstate New York for Grandma Terry’s funeral this week. We chatted for a while when I picked up Nadia and my dad showed me two gigantic zucchinis from their garden. Usually overgrown zucchinis tend to be bland and I wanted an excuse to bake zucchini bread so I took one home. This morning when I flipped through my recipe box, I noticed a recipe for zucchini bread written in my sister’s handwriting. Upon reading the ingredients (whole wheat flour, no sugar only barley malt) it definitely had all the markings of a Grandma Terry recipe, so I figured I would give it a try.
Baking the bread, I finally had a chance to really reflect on the loss of my grandmother. I always thought she was so strange as a child, mostly because her life was so different from mine. She lived her whole life in Upstate New York; for the last few decades she lived in a modest red house amongst pine trees that backed up to the Independence River. My grandparent’s life was quiet and simple– she always grew a big vegetable garden, knew everything going on at their church, enjoyed cross country skiing in the winter, and she made all kinds of food since she largely avoided processed foods due to having diabetes and heart disease. As a child I always thought their life seemed so strange– hardly any TV, no junk food, and no AC in the summer! My (step)grandpa had a workshop on their property and a big highlight as a kid was going on a tractor ride in the summer.
I’m really grateful that I had the opportunity to get to know my grandmother when I was a young adult over long weekend visits with my dad for the town field days and other random family events. Many of the things that seemed so weird as a kid, made more sense as an adult. Being at her house was so peaceful. I remember visiting for her 85th birthday one January and being awed watching the snowfall and walking down to the river with my uncles and cousins. During summer visits, her simple snacks of watermelon, berries, and mixed nuts really hit the spot. It turns out there was a method to her madness.
As an adult, I have a greater understanding of the many sacrifices she made raising her family. She was widowed while pregnant with her seventh child and prior to that was single parent while her husband served in WWII and later she lost a baby to a childhood illness. It is hard to comprehend facing that level of grief and still somehow going on to raise six well-adjusted children and working a career as a home-economics teacher.
Heck, sometimes it’s hard getting out the door on a weekday morning and I have a very supportive husband and only have one child. Imagine doing that with six children? Of course other things were different– she had neighbors who were like family and helped a lot with the children– not to mention a network of extended family who visited frequently.
As a kid I wondered why she insisted on giving gifts of stock instead of buying toys at Christmas or birthdays like my other grandparents. Of course as a young adult, I certainly appreciated her thoughtfulness when I used it towards buying a car. Now that I’m raising a daughter I really appreciate her minimalism– I’m always preaching “please less gifts”– since my daughter tends to play better with a smaller selection of open-ended toys than lots of flashy things. While I’m not a cross-country skier, I think of Grandma Terry when we hike along the James River. I certainly share her love of nature.
Lastly, I appreciate her generosity. When I was a college student, Grandma Terry always sent a check to help cover the cost of textbooks. When I think about how many grandchildren she had, that was no small gift those four years. Or the summer before I got married, when she took me to her closet so I could pick a family quilt as a wedding gift. I picked one made by great-great grandma Marian Schwenk–what a treasure to have a piece of family history. Even her crazy low sugar, low salt diet– that was another act of sacrifice and act of generosity to ensure she would be around to see her grandchildren and many great-grandchildren be born. Many of her siblings passed away prematurely largely due to complications of heart disease and diabetes.
So, thank you Grandma Terry for the recipe (which was pretty tasty, even though it wasn’t very sweet) and the gift of your life. It will be incredibly weird to be in New York without you this week. I will always think of you when I eat cranberry sauce (and the story of Jessica crying upon taking a bite of your homemade cranberry sauce sweetened only with apple juice). Rest in peace, Grandma, you are loved and missed.
Zucchini Bread by Terry Cataldo
3 eggs, beaten slightly
1/2 cup oil
1/2 cup applesauce
2 cups grated zucchini (try to squeeze out the extra water)
1/2 cup barley malt (I presume honey or maple syrup would also work)
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups flour
2 cups whole wheat flour
3/4 cup walnuts (toasted for about 5 minutes while the oven preheats)
3/4 cup raisins
1/2 cup wheat germ
1/2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2 1/2 tsp. cinnamon.
Directions: Combine wet ingredients and stir to mix. In a separate bowl, sift the dry ingredients and then add combine them with the wet ingredients.
Bake in 2 loaf pans (greased and floured) at 350 for 45-60 minutes. Cool for 10 minutes in pan. These can also be baked as muffins or drop cookies (with a shorter baking time).