As my thirtieth birthday quickly approaches, I will be taking you on a journey through my twenties in the spirit of Neil Pasricha’s 1,000 Awesome Things blog.
1. Study Abroad– When I was 20 (which scarily was ten years ago!), I studied abroad in Florence, Italy for my Junior-year spring semester. For almost four months, I lived in an apartment blocks away from the Uffizi Gallery with four American students from various colleges. I studied Italian language and art history (in the city where the Renaissance was born); I ate pizza; I discovered skinny jeans; I kissed my Italian boyfriend on the most romantic bridge; made awesome friends; drank espresso; and took awesome weekend getaways. Those were the happiest four months of my life. I came home to America a braver woman, ready to take on the world.
2. College Graduation– As much as I HATED Mary Washington my first semester, it really grew on me. I made great friends (many from my freshman hall- “3M love”), became more confident in the classroom, and found the perfect job coordinating volunteer work on campus. Being at a small school helped me discover my self-worth and discover what I had to offer the world. Graduation was bittersweet—as much as we complained about how boring “Fred Vegas” was, it had become my first home away from home.
3. Becoming an Aunt– June 30, 2011 little August Elizabeth was born to my sweet sister and her husband. I remember holding her when she was just a day old, so tiny and soft. I remember babysitting her and realizing I forgot the words to nearly every lullaby so instead I sang the Golden Girls theme song. From sleepovers, to preschool concerts, to everything else—I truly adore being an aunt.
4. Moving to Richmond– I was raised in Northern Virginia and while my family moved a few times, I never moved beyond a five-mile radius. After college, I lived with my parents and worked at the same school as my mom—I’m glad my parents gave me a place to stay (for free!), but it was time to experience something new. In August 2011 I moved to Richmond, ready to start the Master of Social Work program at VCU. Moving to Richmond turned out to be a real slap in the face. Within 72 hours, I cracked my windshield on the highway, discovered a broken window in my new apartment, and locked my keys in my trunk. Fortunately, Richmond grew on me. My inner-hipster loved living in a town that loves food, art, and festivals. My family-oriented-self loved a few miles from my precious baby niece and having the chance to watch her grow. While I am sure I could have been happy elsewhere, Richmond was a good move for me at the time.
5. Fun Dating– For me, grad school was academically much easier than college giving me a lot of free time to enjoy hanging out with my fellow social workers and meet new people. I enjoyed going to concerts, trying cool restaurants, and pretending to be more put-together than I was. There is something to be said just for having fun, especially during the years of being “young and dumb.”
6. Graduating with a Master’s in Social Work– Grad school was quite different than college for me. It was easier to make friends (perhaps because I already knew myself by then) and easy enough to write papers, but it was hard to get used to all the feeling talks! When graduation rolled around, I certainly had a much better understanding of myself, my family, and my sense of purpose. A few days before graduation, I was offered my first job as a social worker, working at the sister location of the company where I completed my internship. I felt on top of the world walking across the Siegel Center stage—I had landed as a “real” adult.
7. Finding a Church Family– I was raised in a Catholic family and almost always went to church on my own. Around the time I finished graduate school, I realized I needed to force myself to join a church group. I was going to need prayers with my job search and I was going to need friends since many of my grad school buddies would be moving out of the area. Making catholic friends was weird at first, especially after two years of hanging out with my liberal, social work crew, but eventually it took. Having a young adult church family has given me amazing friendships, my future spouse, and a more solid understanding of my faith.
8. Acknowledging the Pain of Loss—I lost my aunt/ Godmother in 2013 and I lost my grandmother in 2015. These losses were painful journeys. For the first time I considered the reality parents would not live forever, and that life does not always go as expected. These times of grief taught me the wonders of therapy, where I learned to take care of my soul. Turns out my formula is something like: bubble baths + ice cream + long walks + good girlfriends = acceptance.
9. Teaching as an Adjunct Instructor at VCU- Truly, I will always be grateful to Peter Nguyen, who was one of my mentors at VCU, for pushing me to pursue teaching. Teaching Social Justice has been one of my favorite professional endeavors—it stretched me in new directions and introduced me to amazing students. To go from the quiet college student in the front of the classroom, to the person leading the lecture, was quite a transformation.
10. More International Travel– While studying abroad I visited Italy, Holland, Spain, Czech Republic, Hungary, Croatia, and the Vatican. In 2010, I backpacked Europe for a month with one of my best friends, Emily. Together we saw Italy, Switzerland, Germany, Austria, Czech Republic, and England. In 2014, I spent ten days traveling France with my brother. In 2016, I went back to Europe with my friends Emily and Ashley to visit France, Belgium, and Germany. I was so sad renewing my passport this go-around—I had some amazing adventures in my twenties.
11. Body-pump– This fall marks my five-year body-pump anniversary! Body-pump is a barebell workout featuring low weights and high reps—all set to fun music and lead by fun instructors. I started Body-pump the summer after I finished grad school. I had been so used to being busy, bound by school and work commitments, I felt lost the first few months out of school. Body-pump gave a new set of goals to achieve and it changed my relationship with my body. I’m proud of my muscles!
12. Living Alone– In the Summer of 2014, I moved into a one-bedroom apartment. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have a family or roommates—just me! I loved it! Being an introvert in a very social job (maybe the title social worker should have been a clue), made living with roommates tough since I just wanted my own space. I truly made my first home with my Sugarbush apartment and got to enjoy my first solo Christmas tree (there’s a funny story there), hosted my parents when they stayed in Richmond, and cultivated my sense of interior design.
13. Being Intentionally Single– Triggered by Awesome Thing #4, by 25 I realized I needed to take a break from dating. I realized I got in the habit of dating essentially the same person for five years; and wondering why the relationship never worked. Being single helped me get to know myself and discover what I truly need in a partner. Turns out many of the qualities I find attractive in men are great for early exciting stage of the relationship, but not so great for sustaining the relationship. It also gave me time to pursue my career, become a gym freak, travel, and cultivate many friendships. (side note: Marry Him: The Case for Settling for Mr. Good Enough by Lori Gottlieb was a God-send for me).
14. Fubar* Dates—After a two-year break from dating, I decided to briefly give online dating a try. What a horribly fantastic experience! Between bizarre online conversations, weird complements “You won’t be on this site long,” and awkward first dates, I missed the ease of dating in my early twenties. It was much harder dating with the intention or hope of finding something serious. One of my favorite memories of this experience was designating a local coffee shop as a preferred first date spot. In a span of three months, I went on 4-5 first dates there. Whenever I go there now I laugh at my younger self!
* F***edUp Beyond Any Repair
15. Year of Yeast—Instead of a New Year’s resolution, I proclaimed 2015 the “Year of Yeast.” I love cooking and baking, but I had always been intimated by yeast. I decided to try one recipe each month, by the end of the year I made cinnamon rolls, breads, and pretzels. It was a fun challenge, one of these years I want to do a year of pie!
16. (Student Loan) Debt-free– I am very fortunate that my parents mostly paid my college tuition, but I had taken small loans for my undergraduate degree and larger loans to pay for grad school. I hate owing money and I was determined to pay my loans off early. I made bigger payments each month and made triple payments whenever I received a bonus or reached a personal savings goal. Truly, it felt like a bigger accomplishment to pay off the loans than the work I did to earn the degrees!
17. Accidentally in Love– Daniel and I went on a first date late summer in 2014—Daniel never told me it was a date and I wasn’t convinced we were a good match, so nothing came of it. After spending a long weekend at the beach with friends in the summer of 2015, Daniel and I started to became friends. We played badminton, watched Kickers games, and ate a lot of Thai food, but the relationship never took off as I just wasn’t sure about the relationship. After going back to being friends, I finally realized I could love Daniel while at a Kicker’s game. I asked him out that night, we ate pizza, and well, I have never looked back.
18. My Parents Moved to RVA– After thirty+ years, my parents moved from Northern Virginia to Richmond. Part of me was sad to lose a home, but also happy to have them in town. We have gotten to enjoy seeing Richmond sites, running errands together, and being able to drop by for dinner. Daniel likes to joke our lives are basically a spin off of “Everybody Loves Raymond” (well, he says Everybody Loves Kari).
19. Daniel Proposed– After a slow courtship (2+ years), I knew I wanted to marry Daniel about three months into the relationship. It took Daniel longer to figure that out for himself. On a beautiful summer day, Daniel proposed at the James River and I said an enthusiastic yes.
20. I Bought a House! Last summer I researched first-time home buyer grants only to realized financially I was more prepared for home ownership than I realized. After getting pre-certified with a mortgage officer, I started browsing Zillow. On a whim Daniel and I went to an open house near my apartment, and we fell in love. The house in many ways seems like the magical tent in Harry Potter—it looks like a quaint brick house from the outside, but inside there’s sprawling living space with a crazy 60’s den and huge bedrooms upstairs. We have projects to keep us busy for the next decade, but Daniel and I are in love with our city-country fixer-upper!
There it is, my twenties in a nutshell. I like to ask people the question, “In the story of your life, what would the current chapter be called?”
For me, my twenties included titles such as: “Young and free,” “Learning Lessons,” “Sitting, Waiting, Wishing,” and “Accidently in Love.” I wonder what my thirties will hold.
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