With the wedding quickly approaching, I have been on the receiving end of quite the shower of love from friends and family. My mom and sister hosted a lovely bridal shower, filled with many of my closest Richmond friends (and fabulous bridesmaids who made the journey). The house still features the after effects of this outpour of love– between lovely cards with more beautiful sentiments and flowers that still beckon the joy of the day.
In my work life, my coworkers continue to cheer me on, especially after several wedding planning snafus earlier this year. Many of my long-term clients, who have known me since my days as a young, social work intern, keep prying, “So when is the wedding? Are you getting nervous?” As much as I dislike being the center of attention, it feels good to have the support and enthusiasm of our friends and family as Daniel and I approach our wedding date.
I am reminded of several versions of a sermon given by Father Mike Renninger, which posits “How wonderful it is to see and celebrate love as it manifests on a wedding day.” How easy it is to love love when it is mutual, joyous, exciting and new. For now, my love for Daniel is that easy (most days).
Even while we slog through the boring tasks of homeownership, like picking dandelions, I relish having a life partner to share these tedious tasks and the small victories. The new responsibilities of caring for the house (and yard) leave me feeling exhausted most Sunday nights, and yet even in my tiredness my heart reminds me of the loneliness I felt during many parts of my early twenties as a single girl. I am grateful for Daniel, and I am excited for the future vision we are creating together.
Within this gratitude and excitement also lives the fear of the unknown– the unknown challenges which will inevitably fall upon our marriage. Because sometimes love is hard– it can call us to sacrifice our needs for our spouse/ family, it can feel more like a burden than a gift. Sometimes love ends. This reality especially rings true, as dear friends of ours had to face the unfortunate reality of moving into hospice after a failed cancer treatment. How could it be that the joyous friends I saw be married six short years ago now face death and despair?
I suppose Alred Lord Tennyson said it best, “Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
Love guides us become our more perfect selves– it just does not always feel good. As Daniel and I finish our marriage preparation, I want to make an effort to be more attuned the joy of this moment in our relationship, while also honoring the suffering of our friends and family who are living in one of the harder seasons of love.
XOXO,
Kari