Greenvale Adventures

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Each month gets better. More and more I realize she’s not a newborn, and that makes me feel both excited and sad. It’s weird, but I already miss the newborn days. No real “big events” this month, besides St. Patrick’s Day fun at daycare and celebrating grandpa’s birthday.

It feels like we finally found our stride as a family (well a family with two parents who work) and that feels really nice. Weekday morning still feel like a sprint to get out of the door– but we manage. Lately Nadia wakes up most mornings around 5:30 and I nurse her half-asleep in bed until my alarm goes off. It’s honestly one of my favorite parts of the day– seeing her big smile as I pick her up makes me feel so good! Once I’m out of bed it feels like a rush to pump, eat, dress for work and do all the Nadia things. I sometimes feel guilty, but honestly enjoy being at work. I love being a mom AND I love that part of my life that doesn’t revolve around my child. I think my dream balance would be working more like 30 hours so that I could have a little more time to catch up on household tasks and do some things for myself.

Onto Nadia– here are some of the highlights:

-Nadia now giggles! She doesn’t laugh very often, but when she does it absolutely melts my heart. She loves being kissed (or when I pretend her stuffed animal is kissing her) and that often starts the giggles!

-She loves to touch her feet. I totally understand how the “happy baby” pose got its name. Nadia loves rolling around on her back and picking up her feet.

-Everything is a chew toy– I can’t feel any teeth, but I’m pretty darn sure that she is teething. She has a few toys that she loves to chew and she drools like crazy. She’s still not into pacifiers at home, but sometimes we offer during dinner. Lately, she just chews the side–I guess it’s whatever works!

-She loves music. I guess this has always been true, but Nadia loves hearing Daniel play guitar or when we sing. She loves playing with little rattles. I hope this never changes.

-She is such a good sleeper! Most mornings she wakes around 5-6am, which is awesome. My alarm goes off at 6 on work days, so truly I can’t complain. Being at daycare especially seems to wear her out, and most nights she’s itching to go to sleep by 7 or 7:30. Honestly, last night she was fussing a lot while nursing, so I tried to put her down. Within two minutes she was sleeping. What a girl! She still sleeps next to me in her bassinet and usually sleeps through the night. I’m not ready for her to move into the crib, so I think she will graduate to the pack-n-play next month.

-We’re still nursing– and wow, sometimes it gets weird! It is totally a different ball-game than nursing a newborn. She gets so distracted that I can’t listen to my podcasts anymore and since I’m taking a break from social media, I just have stare at my sweet baby or read a book. Sometimes that feels hard for me. She also has a new thing where she likes to take a break while nursing to blow raspberries on my boob. The closeness is both amazing and frustrating as can be! I daydream about weaning her so I don’t have to pump at work or whip my boob out 24/7, yet I also realize I will miss it when our journey ends. Oh, I did a bad thing and ate cake with whipped cream this month– big mistake. Nadia definitely still has a cow-milk allergy… and that flare up took a week to clear 🙁

-She really loves her vitamin D drops– that’s Daniel’s part of the bedtime routine. Nadia opens her mouth and gets excited when he pulls out the bottle.

Well, I suppose that’s it. I want to pinch myself most days, I feel so lucky to be Nadia’s mom.

Working Mom Fail– wrote this on time, but didn’t publish because I didn’t add pictures. Whoops!

One of the mom bloggers I follow described babies at three months as being “alert but immobile” and I have to agree! Nadia now has long wakeful periods where she is so happy to explore her surroundings. She loves looking at her hands and plunging them into her mouth. She also loves reaching for her toys (or my sweatshirt pull-string) and grasping them with her hands. It is exciting to see her actively engage with the world. She still loves babbling and smiling, I like to pretend I know what she’s trying to say.

This month Nadia starting going to daycare. I must say the transition has been good for everyone. Nadia has a big smile when we drop her off and she is always happy to come back home. I feel really lucky we got to keep her at home for 15 weeks– I very much liked the time to figure out our parenting style. I’m also glad she really was “babied” in those early weeks– I never pushed a schedule, instead there was lots of baby-carrying, snuggling, and contact naps. Now that Nadia is a little older, I feel okay with someone else trying to implement a nap and feeding schedule. When we get home in the afternoons I love playing with Nadia on the floor and cuddling for a nursing session. Honestly, it feels like sometimes Daniel and I fight for alone time with Nadia during the week :0

Our nighttime routine has been starting earlier and goes much more smoothly. The excitement of daycare clearly is exhausting– we barely get through one story and a couple songs most nights. I certainly don’t miss the nights of fruitlessly trying to get Nadia to sleep. We briefly went through a phase of singing “99 bottles of beer on the wall” when Nadia was 6 or 8 weeks old. A couple nights she was still awake at verse “85 bottles of beer on the wall..” and that was painful! Nadia sometimes wakes in the night and sometimes doesn’t. Honestly, I usually wake up around 4am if Nadia hasn’t woken during the night. I guess I’m not quite ready to sleep through the night either!

As for me, this month I’ve been working on trying to find a new normal. Mostly being back at work is nice, although it’s been emotionally difficult to lose many patients in recent months due to COVID. I feel like the weekdays are a blur– I have no idea why it took me so long to get ready for work before having a baby. Now, the mornings are a rush to nurse, pump, change, eat something, dress Nadia, and throw everything into the car. By 7:30 in the evening Nadia is sleeping and I’m nearly there myself! On the weekends, it’s nice to enjoy a slower pace.

I’m really trying to maintain reading and exercise as priorities in the busy week– over the past year I’ve realized that these are the two things that help me unwind and recharge. Honestly, the pandemic is a blessing in some ways– I’m sure being able to socialize would add a whole new set of stressors.

Favorites from this month:

Toys! Nadia has a few favorites that she loves to pick up and chew.

Babbling/ Gargling/ shrieking– Nadia loves making noises and talking. Sometimes I think she’s getting ready to speak German with some of the sounds she produces

Family time– Nadia genuinely smiles when Mom or Dad enter the room.

Leafspring– Nadia really does seem happy at her daycare. I’m lucky we found a place close to home that works with our work schedules and has teachers that genuinely seem to love Nadia.

It has been so fun being with Nadia this month. I love seeing more and more of her personality. Nadia is such a social baby– she lights up when I come home from work and starts smiling and cooing. Sometimes she really gets chatty in her little baby voice and I just wonder what she’s thinking about. At times her vocalizations sound similar enough to how I expect she would respond (e.g. “okay” or “yeah”) and it makes me laugh.

There’s been so many other little things that slowly have changed since we took her home– she now enjoys bath time (phew!), can listen for longer periods when we read stories, and has gotten much stronger. She rarely is on her tummy (because she almost always spits up in this position), but she can fully support her head when we hold her upright. She amazes me every day– truly it seems like she learns something new everyday.

This month we also celebrated Christmas for the first time as a family of three. One of my favorite moments was taking a walk and noticing there were little snowflakes in the air. It felt like a storybook.

Things Nadia especially enjoys now:

-Singing– she loves when I sing to her, and sometimes she will join with her little vocalizations. I love singing to her in the mornings when I get ready for work, we’ve been on a Beatles kick lately.

-Epic long afternoon nursing sessions– Nadia has no issue (anymore) taking bottles while I’m away, but my goodness once I’m home it’s another story. It seems like nursing now takes twice as long because Nadia wants to take long breaks to smile and sleep. While sometimes it feels like I’m being held hostage, I try to enjoy the snuggles (and bring a book).

-Dad– Daniel started his family leave about a week before Christmas. For the first two days we tried sharing the parenting tasks equally throughout the day, but Nadia wasn’t having it. She refused bottles and would cry when Daniel tried to comfort her. It really hurt Daniel’s feelings. Thankfully, Nadia has decided she in fact does love her dad. I’m glad they have gotten their time together since I have been at work. I think it’s good for both of them.

-Her hands- Recently Nadia found her hands and she thinks they are the greatest! She loves starring at her fist and then slamming it into her mouth. Sometimes we put on her teether glove, but she doesn’t seem to like that as much.

Things Mom is enjoying:

Does it make me a bad person to say I’ve enjoyed being back at work? Don’t get me wrong, becoming a mother has been the best journey, but I missed being able to talk to other adults, accomplish things, and LEAVE THE HOUSE! Life as a stay at home parent can be wonderful, but it is also a mostly thankless job. You’re working towards the prize of a secure relationship with your baby that you won’t fully realize for another twenty years. Meanwhile at work, it’s been so satisfying catching up with my coworkers and patients and knocking out to-do lists left and right!

The afternoons– My coworkers laugh at how punctual I am about leaving work in the afternoons. But what new mom doesn’t rush home to their baby? Coming home and snuggling with Nadia or taking a walk is the best. I usually get home around 4 and she’s often going to bed by 7:30. It may not be long, but we make those hours count.

Marathon meal prepping and laundry on the weekends– well, this one is a love/ hate. I usually cook a couple big meals so I don’t have to cook again until the second half of the week. Same with laundry– it just makes the weeknights go better. Although, honestly the weekends as a working mom feel busier than the work days!

Lastly, oreos! Being dairy-free means I can’t have a lot of sweets, but thankfully oreos are surprisingly vegan! After I put Nadia to bed, there’s a 90% chance it’s oreo time 🙂

This month marks the end of the “fourth trimester” and Nadia is no longer considered a newborn. I honestly feel like I’ve grown as much as Nadia these past few months. I had ideas about how I might like to parent, but there’s just no way to know until you’re there. I must say I like the mother I’m becoming and feel good about the way we are choosing to raise Nadia. When Nadia was just a teeny-tiny human, and we were still at the hospital the person administering Nadia’s hearing test asked me “Is she always like this? What calms her down because she needs to be still for the test.” I remember thinking “Lady, are you crazy? I just met this kid and I have absolutely no idea how to calm her down.” Thankfully, Nadia eventually settled down (and isn’t deaf), and I now know how to comfort my baby.

Well, month two was a little more challenging parenting Ms. Nadia, but it was also a lot of fun starting to see her personality shine. Fun tip, fussiness tends to peak around 6-8 weeks, so we were stretched to find new ways to comfort her. Rocking, baby-wearing, nursing, singing, and playing reggae music are our weapons of choice! Around six weeks she started consistently smiling at Daniel and me, and wow- I’m not sure there is anything better than those baby smiles! We have also been surprised to see the strength she has gained– she doesn’t always love tummy time, but she is starting to hold her head on her own and can really throw her body around when she’s hungry! Week to week we find she is awake for much longer periods and enjoys when we talk to her, make silly faces, and sing songs.

The biggest challenge we faced was discovering that Nadia has a cow milk allergy a little before Thanksgiving. She stopped sleeping as well, was having MASSIVE spit-ups, crazy-looking diapers, and in general was just more irritable– it was hard for everyone. To make matters worse she got her first clogged tear duct and stuffy nose that same week. She absolutely hated us for washing her eye lids several times daily and trying to clear her nose. There were days when I felt like such a failure– I was poisoning my daughter through my breastmilk (oops!) and awkwardly (unsuccessfully) trying to use the bulb syringe and de-gunk her eyes. A week or so into my dairy elimination diet, Nadia seemed to be mostly feeling better and I started to feel like “maybe I haven’t broken my perfect angel baby.” I’m relieved we were able to identify the problem and as much as breastfeeding can be annoying, I very much am happy we were able to stay an exclusive breastfeeding family!

We enjoyed celebrating Thanksgiving (COVID-style) this month– we took a long walk in the morning and sat outside and ate our turkey and fixings on paper plates on my parent’s patio. Crazy to think this time next year, Nadia will be able to try eating turkey and stuffing and everything else! I’m sure our Christmas celebrations will be equally low-key, which is fine. Nadia truly was the best gift we could possibly receive.

Things Nadia is loving these days:

-The Christmas tree! She really enjoys looking at the Christmas lights.

-Singing, and especially the song “Wheels on the Bus”– perhaps because it’s one of the few children’s songs I can actually remember the words 😉 We also discovered that Reggae music often calms her down when she’s upset. I highly recommend checking out “Reggae Christmas” on Amazon music.

-Her contrast cards and the set of curtains in our kitchen–she will happily stare at both, babbling to herself for several minutes.

-Me! It’s both wonderful and exhausting being her MVP 😉 Maybe Daniel will surpass me during his paternity leave in January.

Things Nadia is NOT loving:

-Bottle feeding– we got some new ideas from the lactation consultant this week and we’re going to keep offering a bottle every morning until I go back to work. Hopefully Nadia and Daddy will figure this out!

-Pacifiers– mostly she just likes to lick her pacifier so we stopped offering it. I just feel ridiculous holding a pacifier so she can lick it at her leisure 😉

Things I am loving these days:

-The Crown! I tried watching this show a couple of years ago and couldn’t get into the storyline, but I really enjoyed watching seasons 1-3! I’m sure I’ll finish season 4 before I go back to work. I had to stop watching Grey’s Anatomy re-runs, I could feel my brain rotting away 😉

-Long walks– Win-win, as Nadia likes being outside and I like the change of scenery from inside our house. The cold weather can’t stop us! We either walk after lunch or when Daniel finishes working.

-Califala Farms almond milk creamer– the WORST part of going dairy-free was giving up milk in my coffee. Having good coffee is an essential for me, especially with waking up with a newborn at night.

-“Latched Mama” brand clothing– I actually feel attractive wearing my new nursing/ pumping tops. Everyone is different, but after a couple weeks I was ready to wear real clothes vs. pjs/ robes.

-Virtual-consultations with a lactation consultant– both times were SO helpful! I learned a few new positions that have greatly reduced the spit-up (and therefore turned the everyday laundry task into a couple times a week).Don’t get me wrong, breastfeeding can be a huge pain in the butt, but I just don’t feel ready to quit. When it’s good, the snuggles are amazing and I really don’t want to have to start making bottles because she still sometimes wakes up for night feedings.

Well, I guess that’s it! We shall see what month three has in store!

How is my little girl already a month old and beginning to outgrow her newborn-size clothes?  Already, the expression “The days are long but the years are short” is ringing true.  It seems hard to remember our life before Nadia arrived, but maybe that’s just because we were feeling desperate to add another member to our quarantine pod 😉 

For the most part, Nadia seems to be a happy, easy-going baby.  She loves to be carried (in the Moby wrap or Baby Bjorn) whether on a walk outside or when I’m trying to do things around the house and her favorite place to nap is on top of Daniel or me.  She likes when we sing to her and really likes when Daniel plays guitar (which now is often part of our bedtime routine).  

She absolutely despises bath time– it’s hard to believe someone so small could make such a loud cry!  And oof- getting in/out of the car seat rarely is a quiet affair.  Daniel is convinced she’s jealous of us at meal time, as this is often when she starts to act fussy.  I’m not convinced as I don’t think she can actually see us when we’re sitting at the dinner table.  Who knows, maybe she’s trying to tell us she is sick of breastmilk and is ready for the good stuff!  I must say, I think I have really mastered the art of eating with one hand so I can also hold Nadia.  

It’s a bummer that we haven’t gotten to take Nadia out much or had too many visitors thanks to COVID and cold/flu season.  We tried to do little things as a couple to make her first month feel special to us– we enjoyed having a birthday cake for Nadia when we got home from the hospital.  Daniel also brewed a beer to mark the occasion– “Oktober-baby Fest” and we enjoyed decorating the basement.  Not the party we would have thrown another year, but still festive!  

As for me, mostly I’m enjoying life as a mom.  I have often thought working as a social worker is probably some of the best training for parenthood; not necessarily because of the coursework on human development but rather because it teaches the importance of going with the flow and not taking things too personally when everything falls apart!  Recently I read a blog post about maternal satisfaction and how so much of it is about perspective.  It gave the example of how two moms with babies of similar temperaments might have totally opposite reactions– “Motherhood is so hard; it feels like I have to hold or feed my baby all hours of the day” vs. “Motherhood isn’t so bad, my baby is happy as long as I hold or feed her.”  Most of the time I feel like the second mom; although sometimes by the end of the day I feel so tired of being needed.  Fortunately, I discovered Nadia can scream at the top of her lungs, but I can’t hear it when I’m in the shower.  I’m glad Daniel is more than willing to accommodate my LONG showers on those days. 

Things that are keeping us sane:

-Our White Noise machine– I think all three of us are hooked to falling asleep to the sound of ocean waves.  It’s certainly making our nights more pleasant! 

-Podcasts!!!  Armchair Expert and the Sporkful help pass the time while nursing. 

-Baby carriers!!!  Lifesavers– almost a guaranteed nap for Nadia and they give us the chance for us to walk trails that aren’t stroller friendly. 

-The puzzle section of the newspaper– this is often a highlight of my day!  It feels like I’m really doing things with my life if I can get through the Soduku and Wonder-word before lunch.

-”My breastfriend” pillow– I think I’ve tried just about every setup imaginable and this is the comfiest, it was so helpful for the first two weeks when we were both learning the routine.

-”Eat, Sleep, Poop” journal– not glamorous but it’s the only way I can remember when she last ate, which side, when did we change her diaper.  It helps me decipher some of the “I’m hungry” vs. “my diaper is a disaster” vs. “I want some snuggles” cries… because they all sound the same to me!

Full disclosure, I will share details and pictures from Nadia’s birth- so if that’s not your thing, please don’t read this one, or skip the second half.

Nadia’s First week at Home

What a week this has been– it seems hard to remember a time before sweet Nadia Rose joined our family. We might be tired, but we have never been more in love.

As much as I loved Daniel before, I love him so much more now. Daniel supported me through the hardest thing I have ever done (labor) and continues to support me by waking up at 3am as I feed Nadia just so I don’t have to change her diaper too. I have come to believe it’s probably for the best that many of these moments come by surprise. For example, if someone told me how long labor would last or how many times I would be awoken to feed Nadia between 12-5am, I would probably say “I can’t do that;” and yet we ARE. There are so many good things (the snuggles, the cooing, the adorable onesies), it just simply outweighs the challenges.

In her first week of life, Nadia has managed to regain most of her birth weight (yay!), meet one of her sets of grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousin, and amaze us by the day. She loves falling asleep in our arms and being held by Daniel in the Moby wrap. She is chill during the days, but a party animal at night (hopefully that will change).

Backing Up to the Week Before her Birth– AKA the Extra Innings

The last week and a half of my pregnancy was tough. After hearing for two weeks “Wow, you’re going to have that baby any day now” and packing things up at work like I potentially wouldn’t be back for 12 weeks, it was tough going past my due date (ultimately by 10 days). I decided to make my due date my last day at work, mostly because it was just hard working at that point. What I didn’t realize is how frustrating it was waiting around each day to give birth! There are only so many freezer meals and surfaces to clean in one house! The week leading up to labor I easily walked 5 miles a day—both because I was trying to “walk baby down” and because I was bored. I stepped up my exercising too- after mostly stopping my exercise classes in September for fear of triggering early labor–I figured no need to be cautious any more! I did body step, yoga, body attack and body pump that last week (with a lot of modifications and breaks). Nothing I tried jump started labor that week, but at least it was a distraction.

Nadia’s birth story

After several days of “false labor” starts, labor finally started Monday evening, October 19, 2020. Daniel and I walked at Byrd park and eaten dinner. I had a few contractions on the walk but didn’t think much of it since that had been happening most days that week. I wasn’t feeling the best after dinner and decided to lay down. I mentioned to my doula that tonight might be the night. By 8pm I was having regular contractions first every 12 minutes, then by 10pm it was every 5 minutes. I was relieved! This was the start of true labor- my previous contractions never progressed like this! By 1am I called my OB and shared I planned to go to the hospital and she passed me the information on how to call the midwife at the hospital. I called the midwife and was told even though my contractions were 4 minutes apart I sounded “too good” for active labor and that I should stay home for another hour. With frustration I called my doula and shared I was told to wait longer, but that we would call once we left for the hospital.

By the time we got to the hospital it was 4am. I had already been laboring for 8 hours and barely slept more than 2 hours that night. The first nurse who checked me said I was dilated 3 or 4 cm and I was a bit disappointed as I had dilated to 3cm at my last OB appointment. When the midwife checked me 30 minutes later she measured me at 6cm! I was so happy!

We checked into my labor and delivery room and the monitors were reading my contractions at 3 minutes apart. My nurse administered my antibiotics (since I was group B positive) and said “I think you’re having this baby before your next dose at 8.” I was elated! We had waiting to tell our families and I thought- how cool! They will be eating breakfast and we can send them pictures of our baby who was born that morning!

Well, suddenly my contractions slowed down- I was barely making progress. My contractions hardly hurt, but I also couldn’t seem to move past 7cm. My midwife was concerned as my bag of waters broke at 5:30am. She decided to finish rupturing my bag of waters thinking that may expedite things. She and my doula walked me through many asymmetrical positions (lunging, side lying, using the peanut ball)- man they hurt! I just wanted to contract on the birth ball and sway with Daniel. My midwife explained that the way to my baby’s birth was likely going to hurt and that she wanted to help me keep my birth plan to avoid a cesarean delivery. I decided to move to the tub to labor- that took the edge off! I relaxed felt like I had a break from the pain. Once I got out of the tub, my contractions felt worse and I decided to ask for an epidural.

My midwife was shocked, she said “tell my why it was important for you to avoid an epidural before.” I was dumbfounded-I said “I thought I could do it, but this is hard and I’m tired. I only got two hours of sleep last night.”

But she respected my wishes and the anesthesiologist was called. While we waited my midwife explained once the epidural was placed I couldn’t eat, leave the bed, or pee without a catheter. Yikes, I didn’t want that! The doctor arrived and was sent away. This mama wasn’t ready for those restrictions.

So we resumed various labor poses. At one point Daniel was helping me lunge and squat with each contraction. At that point I thought to myself “it really was a bad idea to do Body Pump yesterday.”

I was frustrated and wanted to push but still had 1cm to go. My midwife could see my frustration and decided to let me try pushing while she manipulated the baby and tried to open my cervix. Well, baby didn’t like that and wouldn’t budge.

My contractions also had not increased in intensity; my midwife worried my contractions simply were not strong enough to deliver my baby. I disagreed. My midwife said “I see women labor every day; it’s very unusual that you still smile and aside from being tired do not seem to be in distress.” She proposed starting Pitocin to strengthen my contractions. Wow- those first few contractions with Pitocin were no joke! But, I wanted to meet my baby and so I persisted.

Eventually it became time to push for real. Honestly, after being stuck in “transition” (which for most women is the FASTEST part of labor) for hours, it was a relief to get to the next step. I told myself some women only push for 30 minutes, hopefully that will be me!

Pushing was hard, it took several attempts to learn the technique. I loved the coaching I got from my nurse and doula “push through your bottom, all the way through. Good job!” At this point I told myself “Kari, this is just like Body Attack. You think you can’t take the higher option but you can. You’re stronger than you think.”

Several times I asked the midwife “how many more pushes? I am so tired.” Eventually I liked her response, “Well, I’m wearing two gloves and I’m not helping another mother until your baby is here!” I felt down and felt my baby’s head! Wow- it was time to finish.

I expected that once I passed my baby’s head I would need several big pushes for the shoulders and trunk. Well, once again my baby surprised me! I passed her head and she came into the world screaming. Without any more pushes she landed on my chest and Daniel announced we had a daughter! I was shocked! I was convinced I was having a son.

Daniel cut the umbilical cord and I held my baby! I told her “Wow, you made me work for you!” A year of fertility struggles, navigating pregnancy during COVID as an essential worker, the torture of being 1.5 weeks past my due date, and 22 hours of labor fueled on 2 hours of sleep! Yet, in that moment I knew it was all worth it.

My doula and nurse helped me initiate breastfeeding, teaching me a few tricks. Eventually she went home- I thanked her for taking such good care of my family. What I loved about her support is that she walked with me the whole way— through the false starts, early labor, and guided me through all my options at birth. She always knew the right questions to ask and reminded me to eat, drink and use the bathroom. She also never seemed to run out of labor poses. I do not think I could have achieved an unmedicated birth without her support.

Later that evening my midwife sat down with me and said “You should be very proud of yourself. That was a hard labor and most women would not have succeeded without medication, but I always believed in you. I knew you weren’t serious about that epidural.” I thanked her too- any OB would have pushed for a cesarean after my contractions stalled. I thanked her for helping me rethink the epidural, as that mostly likely would have further stalled labor and again increased my risks for a cesarean delivery.

Then, my OB stopped by to meet my baby. She congratulated me and told me my nurses said I labored like a champ. We talked about how hard it was for her to keep the secret of my baby’s sex! She reminded me of my genetic screening results in the first trimester and our many conversations about circumcising if I had a son. She said “I really wanted to tell you that you wouldn’t really need to worry about either!”

Labor was tough, and yet I wouldn’t change a single choice I made. I loved that within an hour of giving birth I could walk to the toilet (vs having a catheter). I loved how alert my baby was- within that first hour she nursed on both breasts! And lastly, I loved that I had no tearing or stitches- turns out the 3 hour pushing plan gave my body plenty of time to stretch!

I slept so well that night. In fact when my nurse woke me at 5am, I looked across the room to see my baby. I had forgotten about giving birth the day before. Wow, what a relief it was that I had!

While I realize an unmedicated birth isn’t for everyone, I would do it again! After doing that I feel like I can do anything. Also, it’s a great way to ensure you will receive A LOT of complements for the duration of your hospital stay.

Photo Credit for all Labor and Delivery Pictures: Jennifer Sestak, Strength and Dignity Birth Services, our doula

One of our neighbors left an antique buffet out with their trash one week, and Daniel decided we needed it. Of course he made this decision while I was at work, so sadly I missed seeing him load the buffet onto a dolly and push it several houses or so down the road and down our super-steep driveway. It must have been a sight to see Daniel get this thing into our house! I hope the neighbors got a good laugh!

At some point the buffet had been painted with a very uneven coat of latex paint that was bubbling off the dresser top. So, even if we liked the white appearance, it clearly needed a more permanent finishing. It was definitely going to be a project to strip the paint and find a way to refinish it to fit with the rest of the furniture in the dinning room.

The paint came easily off the top and underneath was a beautiful veneer finish that was mostly undamaged. Unfortunately it was a REAL BEAST stripping paint off the rest of the surfaces. We decided to leave the legs as-is and simply top with a better quality furniture paint. Removing the paint from the hardware was also relatively painless– I poured boiling water and let it sit for about an hour before scrubbing with an old toothbrush.

Removing paint from the trim and drawer faces was horrible. Each surface was easily stripped 3-5 times, because the paint would get gummy and was extremely difficult to remove. We tried all kinds of things and nothing really worked very well. Daniel had some success using mineral spirits to clear the surface after removing the stripping agent.

Eventually we just decided it had to be good enough. Daniel then added several coats of Danish Oil to try to even out the finish. In a few places we also used “Restor a Finish.” The product that really help give the piece a more finished feel was Amy’s Howard’s Dark Antique Wax– thanks mom! She gave us that tip/ product to try. I essentially added a layer of dark wax everywhere and I felt it really helped to even the wood tone and hide some of the imperfections with the remaining paint.

As for the legs, we decided to paint them a dark shade of blue using “Dixie Bell” paint. I haven’t used this paint before, but absolutely loved it! It covered well with one coat in most places and wasn’t quite as thick as a lot of “chalk paints,” making it a little easier to use. I love the rich color and matte finish. I think it will hold up well!

So, while it seemed a little risky starting a big DIY project in my third trimester, we managed to finish before baby arrived! I’m looking forward to having a place to store table clothes and miscellaneous items. I’m also excited to have a big surface for serving food and drinks when I entertain, although who really knows when that will be. I have a feeling we won’t be hosting Thanksgiving or holiday parties (at least in the same way) this year between having a baby and COVID.

Hello Everyone! I remember my OB asking at my 28 week appointment if I could believe I was in my third trimester, and I said yes! I feel like I have been waiting to have this baby forever, and it is so exciting to get closer to my due date! The baby continues to be quite wiggly and active. I will say I’m looking forward to being able to set this baby down– because carrying this little one is feeling heavy and those kicks hurt!

We did a lot in the second trimester to prepare our home– Daniel assembled the dresser, installed blinds, put the crib together, etc. This trimester we have focused on putting finishing touches in the nursery. I washed several loads of my niece August’s baby clothes and pulled out the gender-neutral outfits. I also had fun shopping for some boy clothes, because I really think this baby is a boy (and I tend to think girls can wear any boy clothes without it being weird). Folding those tiny baby clothes was precious– it’s just hard to believe that babies start out so small!

We have enjoyed starting to read books to the baby. A few weeks ago Daniel started laughing really hard as I read a Sandra Boyton book and the baby started kicking– truly it felt like an ideal moment with my little family. I remember someone telling me that becoming a grandparent compounded her love for her children, and these last few months I can relate more and more to the sentiment. In these quiet moments, I have come to see Daniel not just as my husband, but also the father of my child– what a special bond this brings to our relationship.

Socializing in Socially-Distant Times

Thanks to COVID we have pretty much laid low this trimester, although we managed to find a few ways to reconnect after mostly not seeing people since March. We felt like it was important to bring some normalcy back to our lives (before they change all over again!). I really enjoyed going back to church on Sundays. We are fortunate that our church has enforced wearing masks and social distancing inside the worship space. It’s also a real plus that we belong to such a tiny (English-speaking) congregation; most weeks there have been about 15-25 people total. It was fun to show/ tell our pregnancy to our church family.

When the Kickers were finally able to start their season this August, we of course had to go to a few games! Honestly we were kinda surprised the league was able to pull off a season at all thanks to COVID. It was really nice to squeeze my baby bump into my jersey and actually watch the Kickers win a few games. Hopefully next season will be more normal, with the exception of finding ways to entertain a 6-9 month old munchkin during the games!

Showered with Love

We had a lot of fun virtually hanging out with friends and family for a gender guessing party on August 8th. We went through 10 or so Old Wives Tales to solicit guesses for a boy or girl. Daniel remains convinced we are having a little girl. I personally think we’re having a boy– mostly because we were asked to look away an awful lot during the 20 week ultrasound. While I never would have dreamed of zooming with a bunch of friends, aunts, uncles, and siblings to celebrate this baby it was SO fun! In some ways it was neat, because I never would have gotten to see that particular group of people all together– we had family from Florida, Rhode Island, Colorado, New York, North Carolina, Maryland, and across Virginia. We’re lucky to have such a wonderful support system! Oh, and the guesses leaned slightly towards baby boy– time will tell though!!

Labor Day weekend brought beautiful weather to Richmond (only in the 80s and no rain!) and Jessica and my mom through a beautiful backyard baby shower. It was so nice to get to see several of my Richmond girlfriends and have a family cook-out afterwards. I’m lucky have several friends who are amazing moms– it was nice to have a chance to get some advice and support! 2020 truly has been such a bizarre year– and weird backdrop for this pregnancy–it was nice to have an afternoon of normal fun.

I also was honored (and surprised) to have my coworkers at both offices throw me a baby shower. Being an essential worker in a pandemic has meant I have spent a lot of time with my coworkers and not much time with my family or friends. I have really enjoyed the encouragement and support from the many moms!

Just Waiting for Baby!

I suppose the last trimester has felt like a combination of scrambling to finish our preparations (like anyone is fully prepared to become a parent?), trying to find socially-distant ways to visit with family and friends, looking forward to a break from work (hello maternity leave!), and just waiting for baby! I must say as i write this at 38 weeks, I am definitely looking forward to no longer being pregnant. I would gladly repeat months 1-6 of this pregnancy, but the last couple months have felt like a challenge. It’s going to be magical to hop out of bed in the morning without having to awkwardly roll this baby bump over! And while I will soon be woken by baby in the night, I think that will be a welcome change to having to use the bathroom every 2-3 hours 😉

I can’t wait to share our birth story in the not-too-distant future! Although, truly I hope that post in a couple weeks away. If I can make it to my due date (October 9th) I won’t have to return to work until January and that just seems so much nicer than coming back to work a few weeks before Christmas!

Love,

Kari

We put the finishing touches on our nursery this weekend, and I must say I absolutely love it! It has been so fun putting together a room for our first child. I love decorating/ redesigning spaces and this has been one part of pregnancy that I have looked forward to since the first trimester.

Our upstairs has three bedrooms and we decided to turn our second guest room into a nursery since it is located next to our room. We also wanted to keep our other guest room as-is. This may be weird but we go through phases where we sleep in that room for months at a time. Being the social worker I am, I wanted to promote good sleep hygiene by keeping a TV out of our bedroom. This was a good idea in theory, however there’s a TV in our guest room and when I’m feeling lazy/ sick I sleep in there so I can watch TV in bed. We moved into the guest room last month– first because I felt like the mattress was more comfortable with my big baby bump, then because I got obsessed with re-watching Grey’s Anatomy. Oh well, I’m supposed to be relaxing now, so I’ll worry about improving my sleep hygiene at a later date.

But, alas, back to the nursery!

We painted the room a sunny yellow about two years ago. Some of you may remember this room was originally the “tree room” when we bought the house. Ugh, that took about 5-6 coats of paint to cover. Daniel is a saint.

We settled on the theme of Woodland/ Forest animals since we’re outdoorsy people and it seemed to work well for a little boy or girl. We settled on a color scheme of yellow, grey, and white with accents of navy blue. Daniel thinks it’s a bit girly, but I disagree!

We are reusing August’s crib from Ikea and bought a matching Hemnes dresser. I love the Hemnes line from Ikea– I like the modern lines and amount of things this one holds! I was able to get 0-6 months clothing, sheets, diapers, receiving blankets, burp clothes, and more inside! Bonus, it’s a comfortable height to double as a changing table.

We purchased this Basset chair used from Nextdoor and found an end table to match. This chair is SO comfy, Daniel and I both like using it as a reading spot. I’m looking forward to spending a lot of time nursing, reading, and snuggling our little baby here. We also have been lucky to receive lots of board books for baby, so placed a reading bin beside the chair until we add a little bookshelf.

We already had a twin bed in this room and decided to keep it, since it fit. We also figured one of us may end up sleeping in the nursery depending on our late-night feeding situation.

Now for some of the cutesy details. I love Etsy for finding unique things and supporting independent artists. I fell in love with this print series by Sofia’s Nursery art found here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/575074605/nursery-woodland-print-set-3-neutral?ref=shop_home_active_11&crt=1. I just think the animals’ faces are adorable!

We settled on this print series from Wanderlust Street to incorporate a psalm I like and add a little more of a masculine vibe (just because we’ve guessed the baby may be a boy). It can be found here: https://www.etsy.com/listing/826539019/bible-verse-nursery-wall-art-bible-verse?ref=user_profile.

I originally found an owl-themed mobile but it was sold out by the time I was ready to purchase. Instead, I settled on a Woodland themed mobile from Red Head N Blue’s shop. Still cute, and I liked being able to pick the colors for the wool balls.

I started a birth announcement for the room, which of course will be finished once we know the details, like the the baby’s SEX! As you can see I have placed my hopes for a nice small-to-average baby coming conveniently on our due date. Of course baby’s arrive when they arrive and I suppose there’s no use worrying about the birth weight– I can’t do anything about that now!

Thanks for reading about the nursery, and I hope you like what we picked out!

Oops! I wrote most of the a month ago, but forgot to add pictures and post. So here goes!

My goodness the time is flying.  My first trimester felt like a series of waiting games– waiting to find out I was pregnant, waiting for the first ultrasound, waiting for the risk of miscarriage to decline, waiting for the right moment to share the news with family and friends.  Not the case for my second trimester.  Although I really pushed the limits on telling patients at work– so much so that one patient asked a coworker “Why is the Social Worker getting fat?”  So much wrong there.  Why is it so hard to learn someone’s name and, gracious, whatever happened to basic decency!?

I am relieved to say all nausea and fatigue mostly cleared up by week 11 or 12, and mostly I have had tons of energy this trimester.  Daniel has kept me motivated to workout from home during quarantine.  We’re streaming our favorite Les Mills classes (Body Attack, Body Step, and Body Pump) and most days we take a walk in the neighborhood.  I reintroduced yoga in April and have enjoyed stretching and practicing connecting my breath to movement.  I’m really hoping all this exercise is preparing my body for labor!   

We started our birth plan in April and I feel pretty committed to the goal of an un-medicated birth.  I watched a few positive birth stories on youtube and read a few books on natural labor and decided that seems right for me.  I also know my plan may need to change, but it’s nice to have a goal in mind. We also hired a doula–just knowing I’ll have an extra support person has eased a lot of my anxiety about childbirth.  I don’t know how other women experience pregnancy, but I felt worried Daniel might get left out of the shuffle during birth without a little extra TLC.  I know myself– I will research childbirth obsessively because that’s how I cope with unknowns, but Daniel tends to stay quiet and worry to himself.  I don’t want him to feel afraid when I’m in labor, because I won’t have the energy to comfort him!  So for us having a doula will ensure that we both have the support we need (hopefully!). 

As much as it has been sad to spend this time in quarantine, we have tried to make the most of it.  Slowly but surely, I am cleaning out closets and preparing our home to welcome baby.  We had slowed down on house projects when Daniel went back to school in the fall, but an empty social calendar has definitely freed up some time.  So far we installed blinds in most rooms, fixed a missing baluster in the stairwell, and updated our outdoor light fixtures so they each have an outlet attached.  We’re going to hang cafe lights on the front porch now that we finally have an outlet. In the yard we’ve been dividing perennials, mulching, and clearing overgrown shrubs.  It’s been so satisfying seeing the progress in the garden over the last three years!

We were generously gifted many hand-me-downs from my sister and had a lot of fun sorting through baby clothes, toys, a crib, and more! The nursery is really starting to come together– we picked a woodland animals theme.  It was a little sad that I didn’t get to shop in person for cutesy baby things, but I’m grateful that we remain healthy and financially stable during this crazy time.  

Lastly, we had a lot of fun celebrating various life events– my first Mother’s Day, my birthday, our second anniversary, and Daniel’s first Father’s day.  I enjoyed surprising Daniel with a new pair of “Dad jeans.”  Some of you may remember the many arguments we had about the need to stop buying “relaxed cut” pants when we were dating. Four years into our relationship, I’ve relaxed my standards 🙂 While I expected to be spending more time out & about, for the most part I have enjoyed these low-key celebrations at home.

This quarantine pregnancy is definitely not what I imagined, but it has mostly been easy and filled with joy.  I really can’t articulate how special it is to feel this wiggly baby growing inside me.  As much as I am excited to meet our baby, I honestly think I will miss being pregnant.  There’s something special about sharing my body with this sweet babe.  Some of my favorite moments these last few months have been reading in my favorite chair before Daniel wakes up on Sundays.  I feel so at peace drinking my coffee, reading a good book, and feeling my baby kick.  

Thank you for reading and supporting us from a safe social distance 🙂 

XOXO,

Kari